Yesterday, my stepfather and “ninong” (godfather), Ruben Innocencio Pagulayan, was buried at the Pasig Cemetery and there his mortal body shall lay for quite a long time. So who was Ninong Ruben to me?

At the age of 6, he became my stepfather. Back then, the ride to having my stepfather was not a smooth ride. I couldn’t expect more as he is not really my “real” father. Nonetheless, he supports me with my studies. Oftentimes he was mad at me. Why? I don’t know. I was only young then. By the way, he became my “ninong” just before he became my stepfather, when I was baptized in the Catholic Church (yes, I was baptized at the age of six).

We’ve been through hard times, bad and hurting memories, tears. Back then, the only thing that I had in mind was, “gaganti ako paglaki ko” (I will take vengeance when I grow up). But when I grew up, I didn’t find myself in vengeance. Though I learned to talk back when we had discussions, a thing that caused him to flare up even more, I didn’t take vengeance all. I do not want to exaggerate much on this as I’m sure you, dear reader, already have an idea of what I’m talking about.

What happened next? The greatest thing happened next. We both came to know the Lord our God in a deeper and more meaningful way. By this time, we learned to walk the path of forgiveness and acceptance. We learned to get along each other. We still had fights but things got more and more smoother. A couple of years ago, I learned to forgive him totally. Furthermore, I learned to be humble and ask him to forgive me as well. By this time, I started to see things differently. I then asked God, “Why? Why did you give me a stepfather who gave me very rough times in the past? Why did you give me a stepfather who broke my heart?” And God, softly replied in my heart - “because that’s what I want to do. I want to give you rough times, I wanted to break your heart.” But still, I asked “Why Lord, why?” And I got one of the best replies I had in my life. In my heart God spoke, “Mike, I wanted to break you to pieces so I can rebuild you. I trashed your past so I can mold you, so you can be the way I want you to be.”

So who is Ninong Ruben to me now? Now, I see him to be God’s hand and tool so I can be what I am now. Ninong Ruben was my mentor in many ways. I now remember him to be one of my best “business administration teachers”, “practical living guides,” and “spiritual pastor.” Now, I saw it clearly that he tried to give his best in everything that he does but his lifelong sickness kept on pulling him down. If only he had not been sick - but that’s the way God made it - so I, among many others, can learn from him.

Now that Ninong Ruben is living with our Heavenly Father - in eternal peace and happiness, I know, his memories here will stay in my heart. His lessons will I always cherish.

God bless you all.