Take a Stress Reliever – Jokes
Stress Reliever # 1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”
Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.
Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.
Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: “What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?”
Husband to wife: “Golfing with friends, my dear.”
Wife to husband: “What? At 2 am?”
Husband to wife: “Yes, We used night clubs.”
Stress Reliever # 5
A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” the woman replied sweetly, “I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE”
Stress Reliever # 6
Father to son after exam: “let me see your report card.”
Son: “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”
Stress Reliever # 7
“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate.
> “Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”
Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What ’s so bad about that?”
“He was the original owner.”
Stress Reliever # 9
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word “beans”..
“My father grows beans,” said one student.
“My father cooks beans,” said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: “We are all human beans.”
Stress Reliever # 10
Interviewer to Millionaire: “To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”
Stress Reliever # 11
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
Stress Reliever # 12
A husband was asked: “Do you talk to your wife after sex?”
He replied: “Depends, if I can find a phone.”
Stress Reliever # 13
Man to wife on wedding night: “Are you sure I’m the first man you are sleeping with?”
Wife replied: “Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!”
Stress Reliever # 14
“Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?”
Answer: “Because people started licking the wrong side.”
Stress Reliever # 15
A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me – my pretty face or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humour”
Stress Reliever # 16
Doctor to his lady patient: “You look terribly weak and exhausted!
Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?”
Lady replied: “Doctor, I thought you said three MALES a day.”
Stress relieved???
Lots and lots of stuff to do
Here I go again. I’ve got tons of things to do and I don’t feel like doing them. It’s just that the more stuff you have in front of you, the more boring things become. On the other hand, if there are only a few things to do, then greater are the chances of me saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Yes, it’s definitely not a good attitude and I need to deal with myself regarding this if I am to attain my goal in retiring in 10 to 15 years. I have to think of a solution and create a system that will allow me to handle all these tasks quickly and effectively. Well, back to the drawing board.
I’m also considering hiring 2 people at most to do things for me while I focus myself on coming up with more money-making ideas. Well, well, well… I need to do this quick and I mean really quick!
Whew! Wish me luck, I’ll need all of it.
Smart Wifi down for two days
My Smart Bro (formerly Smart Wifi) internet connection was down for two days. I called tech support and they checked the base station which according to them was working well. I think they’re checking the wrong base station or something is wrong with their monitoring system because I’m 100% sure that there is something wrong with their base station. I couldn’t get an IP for two days and all of a sudden the internet went back on again. I didn’t do anything with my setup nor was anything wrong with my setup – I’m sure and I know, I fix computers and setup networks myself.
Anyway, it’s time to contact them again and ask them for rebates for the two days of no service.
Other than this occassional downtime that I experience with Smart Bro, I’m still comfortable in saying that their service is pretty good.
The Subservient Chicken
Thanks to Lani Sabado for telling me about this cool website. Ironically, she couldn’t see the website herself due to some firewall at her work so she asked me to check it for her. I laughed a lot while looking at the website while Lani just kept on wondering on what I was looking at.
Anyway, the subservient chicken is a chicken that will follow simple commands in hilarious ways. You can tell it to dance, sit, watch TV, etc. Check it out for yourself at www.subservientchicken.com. The website appears to be owned by Burger King and I have to say that they did a great job at this.
Some Blog Changes
I decided to change one of my blog’s focus from just Linux, Apache, MySQL, and PHP (LAMP) into something that covers a wider variety of topics and so I chose to rename my “lamp” blog to “tech” blog which will now cover anything related to technology and stuff like that.
This also means that all technology related posts will not be posted in the technology blog instead of in the science blog. However, old posts will remain in the blog that they’re in and will not bemoved.
I hope you like it. 
Chikka + GoogleTalk = Free SMS
I text a lot of people in the Philippines and I was tired of using Chikka’s Javalite client which is my only option since I use Linux as my operating system. I searched for an alternative way of sending SMS messages to people in the Philippines and I found out that Chikka tied up with GoogleTalk.
The process is simple and painless.
- Get a GoogleTalk account if you don’t have one yet.
- Add the number of the person that you want to send an SMS message to to your GoogleTalk buddy list using the following format: 63xxxyyyyyyy@chikkatalk.com where xxx is the mobile carrier number and yyyyyyy is the last 7 digits of the cellphone number. Example: 639181234765@chikkatalk.com
- Type in your message and press send or hit enter.
I tried sending SMS messages to myself and it was fast.
Now, I can get rid of that pesky javalite client from Chikka.
Blogging and…
You know what I’m doing at this very very point? Well, of course, aside from blogging. What I’m doing right now is thinking of at least 3 different business strategies that will make me rich in the very near future.  Hehehhe.
You ask me, why three strategies? It’s because I want to play it safe. If one fails, I have two more left. My mom trained me well, you know. 
Blogging and…
You know what I’m doing at this very very point? Well, of course, aside from blogging. What I’m doing right now is thinking of at least 3 different business strategies that will make me rich in the very near future.  Hehehhe.
You ask me, why three strategies? It’s because I want to play it safe. If one fails, I have two more left. My mom trained me well, you know.
Real Estate in Scottsdale
I was thinking of the possibility of getting some Scottsdale real estate in the near future. Well, it’s just a plan that I have but hey, they say the place is nice so I think it’s worth a look. Perhaps I should check the cost of real estate within the week and get me a parcel of land over there at Arizona.
It’s time to get over it
I’ve recently been involved in a very very very bad situation with a person and I admit I’ve made some pretty bad things. Well I was pissed off and I do bad things when I get pissed off. Anyway, I think it’s about time to get over it and move on.
I will be meeting this guy sometime soon and I’m not really sure what could possibly happen. Ahhh, what’s done is done and I won’t retract any statement that I made. However that doesn’t mean that things will get worse. Who knows….
Ok, enough ramblings for now.
